I’m so excited to share this thoughtful post on such an important subject, written by my good friend Natalie of Second Nature Co.! Enjoy!
As Jennifer Kass [www.jenniferkassllc.com] says, ‘the root of all struggle is fear’. When we don’t set healthy boundaries, we end up feeling exhausted and consumed with anxiety and fear. Conflict enters our world and we forget to take care of ourselves.
Relationships also become unhealthy when we act from a place of fear, rather than love. Learning to set healthy boundaries offers a great opportunity for us to strengthen our capacity to love ourselves and to release our fear. Because after all, the way we treat ourselves is the strongest indicator of how successful we’re going to be at making changes in our lives and how happy and healthy we will be.
Signs that you need to set some boundaries.
1) You have difficulty saying ‘no’ to others.
2) You do things out of guilt or obligation, trying to please others at the expense of your own happiness.
3) You don’t express your thoughts and feelings when something or someone upsets you.
4) You often put yourself last and others first.
How to act from a place of love.
Underneath the surface, resides limiting beliefs that prevent us from being who we truly are and living a happy, bountiful life. If we aren’t able to look within and recognize their existence (and their roots in fear), they continue to control things, leaving us feeling powerless.
From a spiritual perspective, fear just isn’t real. Love is the only thing that is real. When we begin to detangle our fearful perceptions and connect with our absolute, true self, we can allow it to guide us to better choices. How does that happen? We don’t need to try to change or fix ourselves. Right now, in this instance, we are whole and perfect. Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way and and align with who we really are.
1) Identify your fears. Are you afraid of not being good enough? Do you havea fear of rejection? Or do you have a fear of being alone or abandoned?
2) Choose love. Once we’ve created an awareness around our fears, we can realize that the fear isn’t real, it’s something we’ve learned through social conditioning. As we witness our fears, we must actively replace them with loving perceptions. This isn’t a quick fix; it’s something that we must continue to practice.
3) Take action. When we choose love over fear, we are committing an act of self-love for our mind and body. As Kass states so eloquently, ‘when we show up for ourselves, we provide an opportunity for those around us to show up as well‘.