I’m hoping this will be my last pre-baby post but who knows; she is our kid after all which means she probably won’t really want to follow the rules 😉
I’ve been physically good but feeling restless. I feel like I’m caught in limbo between an old life and a new one I know nothing about. I feel like I’m saying goodbye to someone, to the ‘pre-mother me’ and I guess that makes me nostalgic and a little sad. I keep thinking of all the things I may never do again – staying up all night in a strange city with new people, spontaneously taking a trip (spontaneously doing anything…), smoking a cigarette in a car with the windows down and the music blasting with my best friend. Although to be honest, I don’t really do these things anymore. In reality I think I’ve been gearing up for this for some time, whether I realized it or not. More than anything I think knowing that in a week or so, someone else’s life and happiness will mean far more than my own, and that my own self-interest (and that of my husband of course) will no longer be the guiding force in our lives, scares me a little. I hope that’s normal.
I also can’t wait to see her face. The face of the little person who has been kicking and prodding me for the last 9 months. I can’t wait to find out if she has her dad’s affinity for dirt and books and animals or my love of the water. Or maybe she will be a hybrid, or maybe she will be nothing like either of us and it’ll throw me for a total loop. Either way I know that we have a crazy, amazing journey ahead of us and ready or not we’re about to become parents. I’ll let you know when she’s here!
I’ll leave you with some pictures of my husband being a total babe, chopping wood to clear greenhouse space. And a picture of me in front of the fire at 39 weeks.