When I’m Not Leaving

It’s always been difficult for me to be present. Caught in daydreams, I’ve spent a good chunk of my life imagining what comes next – a different adventure, a change of scenery, the ideal life. All this distraction comes at a cost however and while constant change is good for the story, it’s oftentimes bad for the soul.

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As my thirtieth birthday came and went, I started thinking a lot about being still and staying put.

I spent my twenties flitting from place to place – Virginia, Spain, Delaware, New York, Pennsylvania, Argentina and Chile. I’m so lucky to have seen so much.

But as I left places I might never see again, others were keeping fires burning; building lives with deep roots as I tore mine up when I tired of the static.

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I finally feel like it’s time to dig in and see where I can go when I’m not leaving.

I know I’ve been quiet here lately and there’s good reason – along with being contemplative, I’m (we’re) also going through tough times. Things are and will be fine but rather than being vague, I’ve chosen to be silent. As much as I love sharing, the Internet is not an intimate conversation between friends and I have no intention of hurting with easy words said behind a screen.

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I’m hoping I can continue to come here to speak my mind and that I start making more time for it too.

xo

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